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Hospital Survival Resources

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Hospital Survival Resources

A good friend of the family's was is the hospital for a few days recently. No worries, she’s going to be fine.  Due to our hectic schedules my husband and I visited her separately. I visited her before he did and brought her a coloring book, a novel and a deck of cards. I am under the firm belief that the only perk of staying in the hospital is people bringing you gifts. Sam went to visit her later and I didn’t think anything of it. Until later. When I found out what he brought her. Here is a picture of it:

 

 

Can we please read some of the headings from the table of contents? Ahem.

            Principles of Bushcraft

            Self-defense in the Urban Jungle

            Surviving Wild Animal Attacks

 

Now I’m not sure if this is a depressing or motivating gift during a stay in the hospital. On the one hand- Hey here’s how to survive – On the other… There is not “Surviving the hospital” section

 

Visiting someone in the hospital? Here’s the link to order your own: http://www.amazon.com/Extreme-Survival-Wilderness-Terrorism-Land/dp/1464302693/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1458183121&sr=1-1&keywords=extreme+survival+book

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The Schlitterbahn Collision

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The Schlitterbahn Collision

Ah the wonders of a waterpark. Tube burns, sunburns and head on collisions. It’s a recipe for greatness. Amiright?

The scene: Schlitterbahn

The slide: The Black Night

The company: Me plus my niece Maegan

 

            Well the day started out normally enough. Ride after ride of waterlogged fun. The day was winding down. It was that point in time when you keep saying to each other “one more ride!” …. And then ten minutes later “Again! Again!”

Well Meg and I were waiting in line for a two person tube ride. The lifeguards were changing shifts and one finally went down the slide. It was our turn at last. Now side note – prior to going down the slide Meg and I decided to really make the most of this run. We had agreed to hoot and holler all the way down.

So I sat in front and Meagan was behind me we preceded with our plan screaming and giggling all the way down – because it is scientifically proven to make waterslides more fun.

            We were almost halfway down the slide when we hit something and of course both scream in synchronization.  As the blob screamed “OWWW!” Might I also mention this is a closed tube slide so it’s dark and hard to see. Then I realized the blob was a person… the lifeguard…. Who was unable to beat us to the bottom because he was tubeless. We both apologized profusely as he grunted a response. The rest of the ride, which normally is over too fast, was spent in silence and seemed to drag on and on.

            When it was finally over we heard him talking to the other lifeguards and tried to maintain our composer as we over heard him exclaim to his lifeguard buddies:

            “Yeah man! She told them to do down that slide too soon! I could hear them coming after me and I was trying to paddle my way down but I was too slow.”

            That’s when I picture this:

 

            Then Megs tells me when we first hit him she though we ran him over with our tube. And I wish I could explain that, but there are no words.

            So there you have it ladies and gents. Watch out for your fellow lifeguards. 

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That Moment When You Understand What a Scrub is. Thanks TLC!

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That Moment When You Understand What a Scrub is. Thanks TLC!

I was driving home from work the other day and stopped at a red light. A big black GMC passes me in the left hand turn lane. Hanging out of the passenger back seat is this guy with 15-20 hundred-dollar bills in his hands. He’s flipping through them and fanning himself like he has all the money in the world.

My first though was I hope he drops the money and falls out of the window trying to save it. 

I also realized:

1)   This guy feels rich

2)   This guy is not rich, as rich people a) have more money than that and b) flaunt it VERY differently and c) aren’t in the backseat of their buddies car

Then I had a light bulb moment: TLC was right! Scrubs DO exist! Those of you too young to know what a Scrub is, here's the video. (Taking it back to the 90’s)

 
 

I don’t expect you to make it through the whole music video... nor would I wish that on you… so I edited it for you.

You're Welcome.

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