My sister is coming to visit! Obviously I am more than thrilled. However, my sister has never been to Texas before. I’ve never considered myself country before, but next to her I look like John Wayne, I secretly think she has it in her head that we all ride horses to work, wear cowboy hats and talk like rednecks. The best example of this is our most recent conversation.

Me: What do you think about paddle boarding?

Jen: (deadpan) What?

Me: Paddle boarding… yon the boards, with paddles, and water… you know…

Jen: (relieved) Oh! … I thought you said cattle herding. I was about to say “there’s no way in HELL!”.

I couldn’t handle my life in that moment.

And I’m just devious enough to make a list of all the people I know who do have cattle we can herd. …